Category: Writing

{let go}

How many times do we tell ourselves that? Far too many, considering how simple a concept it is. Why is it so hard for us short-sighted, fallible human beings to let go of the paths of our  lives to an all-seeing and knowing, infallible God, … Continue reading {let go}


No, I’m not talking about tomorrow as in when I get up in the morning.

We live our lives day to day, resolving to do something different “tomorrow” though we never quite get there, do we? If we put it of, we never get to it.

Before I can go any further, I want you all to know that I thought of this post on Sunday, and opened a draft perhaps Monday, not sure anymore, yet I haven’t started writing it till today. Why am I saying this? Well, because I need you to know that I have in no way got this down. I have been thinking about it a lot lately though.

“I’ll start again tomorrow.” How many of us have said those words? I know I have. Whether it be a diet, a reading plan, a discipline system, we give up before the fight has really begun. And how many times do we truly start again “tomorrow”? Not many.

Think how much more powerful it would be if instead, we started again–right now. Just do it. Resolve right now to start over.

After all, all we have is right now. There will never be another moment.

And yet, isn’t there a tomorrow? Not the calendar date. A true tomorrow. Where we will fall asleep for the last time and wake again in our final home.

Why is it so hard for us to keep this constantly in our minds? Why can we not simply say “This, I will do.” And do it continually from that moment on?

Perhaps, because if we could, we wouldn’t need God. Aren’t our shortcomings the reason He redeemed us?

I for one am very thankful that it isn’t up to me to keep on, because in my own power, I will fail.

There’s a peace I’ve come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There’s an anchor for my soul
I can say “It is well”

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

-Chris Tomlin I Will Rise

Though my heart and flesh may fail, I can say “It is well.”



I’m turning 20 this year. I remember when I turned 13 everyone told me how short yet powerful the teen years are, and I brushed it off.

But they were right.

I have four months left of being a teenager. I do wish I had done more. I feel like this past year has been my most growing year out of all the years I’ve lived. It’s also gone by the fastest. The future is so much closer than I thought.

What a scary word: future. I think I heard it most the year I graduated. (aka turned 18) “what are you doing with your future?” I have no idea, I’m not even an adult yet. How am I supposed to plan my life?

I’m so glad I don’t have to.

Last year, I was really struggling with who I was and where I was. I wanted to go somewhere and do something big. I asked God what He would have me do, and where He would have me go. I could have guessed what He said: “Be where you are and do what is in front of you.”

One day when I was at the beach, one of my friends asked me what I wanted to do in the future. I told him I don’t know. “Why?!” Because I want to do what God wants, and right now, that is just what’s in front of me. It’s being with who I’m with, doing what I’m doing, and being me.

So what am I doing with my life, my future?

What God wants.

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

~Trust in You-Lauren Daigle

There is such peace in letting God lead me through my future. Yes, sometimes I wish I knew things about my future, like whether or not I’ll get married, what skills I should learn, what subject I should study. But I know that as long as I am being where I am, those things will fall into place. I want to want to know God above all else.


{Growing Up}

When you’re young, it’s all about waiting till you turn this age so you can stay up late, or this age so you can drive, or this age so you can make your own plans. Then, when you finally get to that age, suddenly it’s not as sparkly as you thought. I remember being thrilled when I could finally stay up past my bedtime, which over the years, turned into staying up past midnight. Now I go to bed around 11 every night, earlier if I can. I remember being so thrilled when I was old enough to drive, but now I appreciate when I don’t have to drive. When I was little, making plans involved begging mama to let us go to the Ursu’s if we got our chores done, and now, well actually, it’s pretty much the same, but I also like to go to Suki’s house. I loved going to homeschool classes and the like, but never would’ve thought that the year after I graduated, I’d be leading a drama club. Never have I felt so much like an adult then when I’m texting or calling the moms in our homeschool group to see who is coming and let them know what time it is knowing that it is my responsibility to make the club go well. The first play we did I really struggled with, because for some unknown reason I felt like I needed to do everything. I got really overwhelmed and we weren’t nearly as prepared as we should have been. After a long talk with Cheryl, I finally let go, and delegated several roles out to some of the drama team, and I am so glad I did. We just did our second play, which was the Story of Esther, performed at the Purim event we held at our church. This time, we practiced every week and finished the script well before the event. The oddest thing about that, was the fact that people complemented me like I was the lead actor, when in fact all I did was tell everyone when we were doing it and watch over the rehearsals.

When I was little, I always couldn’t wait for my siblings to get married and to start having kids. Now I have two siblings married and I became an aunt just two weeks ago. Our family is completely different now, and I miss the way it was, yet I love this new phase.

One of the hardest things about growing up is the phases. The one I’m going through right now is my friends going to college, dating, getting married, having kids, while I’m still happily at home, same church, but now I’m the oldest (say what???) of my friends, with the ones nearest me in age either already at a college or going to one soon. It’s hard knowing that the way my life is–with my friends–is changing, and we won’t ever have the same friendships. I suppose I’m over dramatizing, since my relationships with my siblings, both married and not, have changed so much over the years, in mostly good ways. I guess I just really like the way I’m friends with my friends right now. Something I don’t think about as much is the fact that I am changing too. I guess no matter what, my life will change. Honestly, I’m glad for that, even though I love my life right now, there is just so much that could change, even faster than I anticipate!

I suppose that this is the point in my life when I’m figuring out who I am and what I do, and that is a rather daunting time. Somehow, I’m more grown up then I expected, yet I have so much more to go.

Sometimes I really wonder what my “dream life” is. Most of my growing up I always expected that all I’d want to do when I grew up was become the perfect housewife, but now I’m an “adult” that’s not who I am. Not that I don’t know how to cook or clean or take care of children (Yay! Alliteration is fun.), because I do that regularly and enjoy it. But there are so many more possibilities, so many things that I would absolutely love to do, like writing, filming, studying music, studying science, dancing, and a plethora of other things, but we would be here all day if I were to list them all. As of right now, I am working actively on writing/filming/directing, but I don’t want to do that 100% of the time for the rest of my life. Saying I do get married, that changes what I pursue. See my dilemma? Thankfully I know that God already knows what my life will be, and all I really have to do is to trust in Him and everything will fall into place. If only I remembered that more. In a way, perhaps not having a “dream life” could make my life simpler. If you are still reading and have any idea what I just said, you are amazing and get a gold sticker.


Today was good. This morning was spent sealing a deck for papa, with a gorgeous view. Then in the afternoon it was drama club, which is always a highlight because it’s with some of my favorite people. 

Today I was missing people though. I miss my sister, my friends that I haven’t talked to. I texted one of them, and it’s been a year since we’ve seen each other. 

Today I’ve been feeling the urge to write. Hence, blog post. What I feel like I need to be writing, however, is the father-daughter story. (If for some reason you don’t know what that is, it has a whole page to itself with all the information I have written down about the story on that page.) I haven’t yet, mostly because I’m going to bed very soon, but I really want to. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep tonight if I didn’t write something. 

Today was one of those days when you just don’t wanna get out of bed, but then it turns out to be a really great day. And I got to spend it with my best friend and sister. 🙂 I really do love my family, and I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to work for my dad. I know not many daughters can claim that privilege, but I can. 



As I look down at my keyboard, I’m amazed. It’s compiled of the 26 letters of the alphabet, plus numbers and punctuation. Yet, with these keys, I can make words. Words that make people feel things. Letters that turn into words which turn into feelings. It is such incredible power and responsibility to be a writer. Yet the same thing goes for speaking our words. When we use our mouth to speak a word, we can never un-say that word. We can never undo the effect that word had. Yet so often, we spend our time using our words to tear those around us whom we love down. We use them lightly, tossing them around like a plaything. We even tear people down in play, yet how many times do those words we say teasingly have a lasting effect on those we use them on? I know that words spoken in jest to me have become a lasting insecurity about my person. The way we choose to let words have an impact on us is important, because how many times do we say something harmful without thinking about it or even truly mean it? If we keep in mind that, it becomes easier to forgive someone the hurtful things they said. It should also in turn change the way we use our words to others. To endeavor to use words to build people up, and encourage them. We can use our words to petition the creator of the universe!

One of my goals this year is to use my words with more purpose. To build people up intentionally, and to not tear people down, also intentionally. To get to know my friends better. To get to know my God better, and to know His Word. To learn to use His Words with mine.

How will you use your words this year?


Hard to believe 2015 is already gone and now nearly a whole month in the new year is gone as well.

2015 was a full, busy year. Two of my siblings got married, which my brother’s anniversary is next month! Hard to believe it’s been a year. Also, Carissa is expecting a baby March 7th! I’m so excited to be an aunt! The day I’m hoping the baby will be born on is February 29th, because if she’s due that close, what other day am I going to go for? (Actually, it’s Peter’s birthday on the 28th and mama’s birthday March 2nd. So the baby has several good days to be born on.)

An update on the webseries: we filmed our first video Sunday! (1-24-16) It was a debate/discussion; Mac vs PC. Wesley represented Mac, and Mr Teagarden represented PC. Gabriel moderated, and Brandon filmed. The rest of us watched. It went really well, considering it wasn’t planned out very well!! Hopefully next time we film we’ll have more time to film with. It’s surreal to have finally started! This has been an ongoing, ever-changing project for a couple years now.

This year is looking to be a big one, and I’m looking forward to where God takes me.