Why is it so hard for me to trust God? I mean, I know that He is in control and He loves me and has a plan for my life, so why do I keep worrying and trying to take over control? How many times do I have to surrender?
Every day, every hour. The fleshly part of me dies (pun intended) a little every time I think of that.
I’ve been asking God to give me the desire to study His word and know Him better–and He has. What do I do with that? “Oh, first just let me check my email, and my facebook, and my instagram, and…….” I’ve reached a point in my life where I am constantly frustrated at myself. I know what I want to do, and want to do it. Why then is it so hard??
No, I know why. Because my flesh, my sin, the destroyer, don’t want me to. I can not let them win. I can’t just sit here with this knowledge and not do anything about it!
God, give me strength to trust You enough that I put away my fleshly addictions and desires and come before the cross. You are life itself. May I never reject that. Help me to not resist. Help me to embrace who I am in You.
Thoughts of Mine 
I agree. You have to be in constant surrender (which I don’t do 100%). I will be consistent with devotion then I don’t surrender one day and don’t read the Bible for weeks. It is a constant battle against our flesh. However, through it all God is with me. It always amazes me that even when I am not surrounding to Him and choosing YouTube/Pinterest etc… over Him He is right there fighting for me. He is pulling me back into His arms. Praise God!
Yes!!
What a beautiful desire. The world has so many desires, and hunger for God is not recognized as one of them. I find it hardest to trust Him in situations I am deceived into thinking that I must have something to make me truly happy – and – that my heavenly Father might not give that thing to me. Contentment with little (little fame, health, wealth, worldly acceptance, human verification/affirmation etc) equates to trusting God. I am often pitifully trapped in undetected doubt of God’s love for me, and belief that He is limited. Whether that limitation is His love, sovereignty(His control and authority over the physical and spiritual realms) or something else, it cripples me when I am lacking in faith.
I am encouraged by your true desire Emily. Blessed is the man (or woman) who hungers and thirsts after righteousness. Seeking the advancement of God’s kingdom first is fulfillment, and we are promised by God that “all these things will be added” to us if we do. Thank you for faithfully serving Him and giving Him your devotion. You are in my prayers today!
Heather! So good to hear from you. 🙂 Thank you for your sweet words! It’s encouraging to know I am never alone. ❤